This is the story of 52 burrito dates; 52 different dates, with burritos. No more, no less. There are no rules, it’s not a game. Each entry is an attempt to accurately record my thoughts on the date and the girl. Those who have been following the blog will have noticed something different about the last date. Each date brings a new audience to the blog, the girl’s friends. The behavior in the comments section is representative of the date, and ever more reason why I am pleased to be moving swiftly on to date #33.
This past Wednesday’s date, Fernanda, sent me a text at the last minute to say she had a boyfriend. As I have gone on dates with ‘taken’ girls before, some readers have asked me not to do it again on the grounds that it is a wasted date. I asked you guys what you think, and to be fair most of you thought I shouldn’t go on the date.
A compromise was reached, I decided to go ahead with the date as it was at such short notice and we were both still keen, but I also agreed to write about the date with Halley (#9) which was to take place on Thursday, a non-burrito date.
Fernanda read about 52 burrito dates in Metro last month, and was intrigued by it; or rather she was intrigued by me. She is a psychologist, the kind that has patients. She is originally from Brasília in Brazil, but now has Dutch nationality because she has spent 9 or 10 years in Holland. She has been living in London for the past 6 years. Fernanda didn’t write a review / report on our date / session, but if she did I imagine it would go something like this:
Patient: Richard FitzGerald
Circumstance: Patient has been taking females on burrito dates and is having little success, he insists on taking me on a date so I can assess whether it is him or the dates that is the problem.
Time and Place: Old St/ Colombia Rd Christmas Market / Patient’s Apartment / Birdcage pub
Props: Burritos and Beers
7.05 PM – Meet with patient by Old St roundabout; he has bike, burritos and some shopping including some Christmas wrapping paper. Is he going on a date, or going to visit a relative in hospital?
7:12 PM – Walk to patients flat where we consume burritos with beer; I go along with patients normal behavior to put him as ease. His flatmate joins us, paitent does little to make this part of the ‘date’ romantic for me.
7:48 PM – Visit the arts and crafts shops on Colombia Road; patient takes ages to notice that I am freezing and have no interest in all these shops. He is more interested in the shops than me. Finally I suggest we go for a drink.
8:02 PM – Entered the Royal Oak in pursuit of a drink and left again as it was too busy, again this was my suggestion as the patient is slow to pick up that somewhere quieter would be more suitable.
8:05 PM – Entered the Birdcage on Colombia Road for a drink, (Aside, I think I could pick up a number of new clients in here). Patient has one eye on the football match on the TV, is he interested in it or me?
8:19 PM – I ask the patient some questions, and he talks at length about himself and his theories on life which I have absolutely no interest in. (Aside: barman Johnny circles the pub shaking everyone’s hand; maybe Johnny is already the psychologist to the customers here.
8:45 PM – I try to hint to the patient that this is a date, and ask him would he behave differently had I not mentioned I had a boyfriend. He seemed puzzled by this question, suerly he should have been absolutely clear on what his intentions were?
10.12 PM – Patient walks me to the tube station and the session ends. It was snowing and very romantic, but the patient didn’t make a ‘move’.
Doctor’s notes: A productive session with a new patient. It was important to get to know him, and participate in his own environment to gain patient’s trust. Patient clearly has difficulties going on dates. Using an array of clever Psychology tricks I learned on a blackboard in a random classroom in Holland, I was able to stay on top of the situation and figure him out.
Doctor’s conclusion: The problem is definitely the patient, and not the burritos. The problem is greater than the burritos: removing them from the situation would only make matters worse.
Recommended treatment: This is a strange case. So interesting, that I would consider writing about it for my doctorate thesis instead of the topic I am working on about: the ‘disease’ nature of Heroin Addicts, to this curious case of the boy with the burritos. A regular session with this patient is required to ‘cure’ him and gradually wean him off the burritos and help him settle with a single female. I have my work cut out.
As I said, Fernanda probably didn’t write a report on me. We were at ease with each other right from the start. I was great to go on a date with someone who was so attractive, interesting, and full of confidence, yet also very interested in getting to know me. We didn’t have any obvious interests in common. Sometimes opposites attract. It didn’t feel like therapy, well not really.
What about her boyfriend? He’s a guy she cares about, but I did get the sense that ours was a proper date. She asked me not to write anymore on this, so I won’t.
My conclusion? I think that there are too many ifs and buts to overcome for Fernanda and me to work out. It was great to meet her though, and I would be interested to meeting again.
So what about the following night’s date with Halley? You remember date number 9 right? Well, she has been rapping again. We finally got to go on a second date, and had a really good time. It wasn’t a burrito date so I won’t go into too much detail. Unfortunately the same chemistry wasn’t there this time, which I think both of us were hoping it would be. She’s a really cool girl and I hope we keep in touch.